Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

This is the first entry in the diary. Most of my friends have these online diaries, and I thought it was a pretty neat idea. Also, I can use this space to advertise my campaign for President of the United States.

That’s right, I’m running for President of the United States. Many people have asked me, “Shaun, you are a very sexy man, why do you think you should be President?” To those people, all I have to say is, “Yes. I am sexy. Next question.”

Of course, I am not running for President simply because I can and I want the power. Oh… wait. I am. I guess if I wanted to lie, I could say that I wanted to help people, but we all know that’s just not true.

I am going to be the first Presidential candidate to be forthcoming about what I would do in office. For Example: If I were elected President of the United States of America, I would start a war with every other country in the world because I don’t like them. I would get as many mistresses as I possibly could. My pick-up line would be, “Hey baby! Come take a ride on this Air Force One!”

Not only would I do those above-mentioned things, but I would make sure that before I left office, I was the Richest Man in the World. And if I wasn’t the Richest Man in the World, I would kill people richer than me, so I would become the Richest Man in the World. Then, I would declare myself a deity and build a religion around my very existence.

And I will win. It’s impossible to lose when Ricky Martin is your running mate.