Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

Today is Thursday. Yesterday, Wednesday. Tomorrow, Friday (isn’t neat how the calendar works like that?)

As per a request from one of my online stalkers, I am updating my diary today. Normally, when someone curses at me and gives orders for me to write a new entry, I don’t pay attention. However, this person scares me very much and I fear for my life. In fact, I’m watching my window with a loaded shotgun waiting for someone to try to break in. Apparently my “roommate” (that’s what HE said he was) already tried to break in. Luckily, I heard him trying to come in and let one rip through the door. By the way, I prefer the online stalker versus the physical stalker. Online stalkers are generally less harmful and actually enhance your self-esteem.

Nothing really exciting happened today, so I will focus on yesterday.

Yesterday was a typical day in Athens, OH. There was the Pro-Life display near College Green. It featured wonderful pictures of genocide, Nazis, and other things that made me want to crawl into a fetal position and start sucking my thumb (no pun intended). In front of them were the Pro-Choice protesters getting cars to honk their horns in protest. A couple hundred feet down the street featured a hell and fire sermon by everyone’s favorite hypocrite, Brother Jed. This is the guy who makes Southern Baptist priests look like Ghandi. If you can make other people ashamed to acknowledge that you belong to the same religion, your name must be Brother Jed. For more information on Brother Jed, click here. Of course, to counteract Jed’s sermon, there was a group of hippies playing bongo drums and singing songs of protest.

Now, with all of this going on, I did what any normal, well-adjusted person would do. I pretended to be a member of the press and interviewed a bunch of people with the videocamera I brought.

The video will be ready in a short while for download. I still have to work on Laura’s Birthday Video, which will also be available when finished.

After 2 hours uptown, I bought a flower from some hippies for a buck and made my way to an edge-of-your-seat, exciting lecture on Colonial Mexico in the 17th century. After fencing, I tried to read a book. It didn’t work very well.

I am REALLY not feeling creative because of all the protests and sermons going on uptown. In fact, I’m in more an argumentative mood than anything, which is odd because I’m not an argumentative person. I’m a Saggitarius… I think that means I like hunting or something. Anyway… if there are any online stalkers reading this right now, expect another entry tomorrow because I will be more creative.

Today’s Final Thought from Shaun: Puppies, although very similar to kittens, do not always land on their feet. I have $300,000 worth of car damage and a horrific scene at the bottom of an overpass to prove it.

NOTE: Due to response about my final thought, I would like to point out 1) Yes, it is a horrible, horrible joke and 2) Yes, I know I should be pistol-whipped and dragged behind a horse through a cactus patch without any clothes on.