Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

Martes.

Well, it appears my small streak of religiously added entries has ended in a five-day break. However, I had good reason. Do not forget it was a holiday weekend - Memorial Day Weekend, to be exact.

Now, in my opinion, Memorial Day is the most dangerous of all the holidays for one big, important reason: the American Legion frightens me. It didn’t always used to be that way. In fact, for many years, I was the poster-child of the American Legion. I even went to the American Legion Buckeye Boys’ State as a representative for my beloved veterans organization.

Sadly, when I came back, that is when the trouble arose. You see, I have this interest in photography and I thought since I was poor, I would put it to use and make a present as a way to say “Thanks!” to the AL for sending me to Boys’ State. My first mistake was expecting the members to appreciate it. The second mistake was to do something abstract. So, in front of a bewildered American Legion audience, I gave a small speech and presented the object to the crowd.

Me: …In conclusion, I would like to present the American Legion Post 762 with this small token of affection.

Hushed Silence in the room

Commander: …So, it’s a brick? You got us a brick and took a picture of it? Is that right?

Me: …Well, no. And that’s not a brick.

Commander: Then what is it?

Me: It’s kind of something abstract that represents your love for the community.

Commander stares blankly at me

Audience Member: Maybe he means the brick is strong like us.

Me: It’s not really a brick.

Commander: Well, it looks like a brick.

Board Member: Are you sure it’s not a brick, son?

Me: For the love of God, it’s not a brick!

Various murmurs throughout the audience

Long, uncomfortable silence

Commander: …On behalf of the American Legion, we thank you for your, uh… “present”.

After that, I was ostracized from the organization. The first time somebody from the American Legion or VFW said anything to me was this Memorial Day when I was asking how to get the complimentary food being served. Unfortunately, I think their feelings of ill-will for me still exist because he said I had to go around back, unless I was going to take pictures of the food.

So, that’s why I don’t like Memorial Day.

Besides having another United States organization hate me, there was nothing much that happened this weekend. I went to high school graduation for a few of my friends and had to attend a few parties. Graduation was extremely boring and the parties were not too bad. My favorite one was the one were I “tore it up” on the Karaoke Machine.

Oh yeah… I am a good singer.