Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

Thursday…

I am sorry to say the short-lived “update every day” pattern I was living is over. In fact, it was over so quickly, I’m not sure if it actually ever happened. This phenomena is rather common with me because there is never any news. I think I need to make up news… kind of like the Fox Network. Not to say Fox News is a bad channel, but it is. Everything they report is blown WAY out of proportion. Also, there is a lot of Republican propaganda, but that’s to be expected seeing as how a Bush relative owns the company. As for the other 2 big ones, MSNBC couldn’t live-feed their way out of a wet paper bag. CNN isn’t too bad, I guess. That is assuming, of course, I have any sort of respect for a news organization in the first place. Which, I might add, that I do not.

How ironic I’m going to college at Ohio University — we breed news media supporters faster than the scientists of Jurassic Park make Velociraptors.

And by the way, Velociraptors are a good analogy for the media. Both are an always-hungry group of pack hunters that constantly prey on any unsuspecting victim they come across. Both have an insatiable thirst for meat to sustain their livelihood. It’s survival of the fittest at its worst in the world of the news orgs, paparazzi, and Sam Shepard. I hate the news.

Unfortunately, as much as I hate it, I love it. I constantly yearn for a dose of someone telling me what is going on in the lives of others. It is my eternal and subconcious quest to legitimize my place in society. I am a nosy bastard looking through the windows of someone else’s house in the world. The only difference between me and that peeping tom down the street is that my window is a box 19 inches wide with sound.

I am the guiltiest party to the crime being perpetrated by companies like Fox News and CNN. I am the one watching the tripe put forward by the networds. Without me, and people like me, there would be no basis for the news. It just goes to show that as much as I hate it, they are necessary. Network news fulfills a void in the lives of humans that is of an absolute importance: the void of curiosity. Without a means by which people can saturate their brains in things they do not know, the networks will always play a major role in our lives, no matter how much we do or don’t want them to.

Now, I’m not saying the news media is completely innocent, either. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We are both guilty parties. The medias’ guilt is over what they serve us as news. Our guilt lies in our desire to watch what is being served. Unfortunately, it is impossible for the news to give us anything else other than what we constantly receive already: tales of woe and despair both foreign and domestic. People want to watch what makes them feel better about themselves, which is bad things that are not happening to them. I could care less about a nun feeding hungry children 5000 miles away, but if you walk in front of the TV during the “War in Iraq” coverage, you’re going to get a handful of Tostitos flung at you. The nun makes me feel bad about myself. I feel like I’m not doing enough to help the world. I feel maybe I should do more for others.

That’s not to say the War in Iraq makes me proud of myself. Suddenly, I’ve become another Bastard American for letting it happen. The only thing left to ask is had the world grown up watching the nun with the kids, would there had been a need to start the war in the first place? I know I can’t answer that question. In fact, I am certain noone can answer it. However, there is one constant in the news realm that will keep us sane in a crazy world. The weathermen are never right.