Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

Friday. 2 days left of Winter Break…

Well, I just finished watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on DVD. I must say, that is one of my favorite movies of all time. The DVDs are simply amazing. I have a fetish for widescreen movies. It should be obvious that I was depressed with the quality of movies when I was growing up. I despise any sort of “Pan and Scan” techinique that is so widely used on videotapes.

Besides watching a movie, I don’t really have much planned for tonight. In fact, I don’t have much planned for this entire weekend.

Originally, the Mexican and I were going to fight the elements in a multi-hour journey to Lexington, KY; however, my Latino friend now feels his monetary situation is not conducive to such a trip. At first, I was kind of sad, but then I realized it is probably for the best. I still have not started packing for my return to OU. I don’t know whether I will be going back Saturday or Sunday either.

On a completely un-related topic, I would like to talk about the little device that navigates our vehicles down the highway: cruise control.

Put quite simply, I love cruise control. I use it wherever and whenever I can. Safety be damned. If I feel like using it while travelling 15 miles an hour over the speed limit on some of the curviest asphalt ever laid in the Western Hemisphere, I will do so without pause. There is no end to the gross misuse I employ with cruise control in any car I drive.

Despite this disgusting abuse of such a fine invention, there was one thing I had never done. I had never used cruise control in the small, 25 mph streets of my little chunk of suburbia. That is, I had never until tonight. All has changed now.

You see, all cars have a limit at which you can use cruise control. Most American cars are rated at around 40-45 mph. Most Imports between 35-40 mph. I am sure it is a safety feature to prevent some moron from slamming into a house in a residential area after falling asleep at the wheel.

Luckily, General Motors has no regard for safe vehicles.

In the 2003 Oldsmobile Alero I occasionally drive, the minimum speed at which the cruise control can be activated is 25 mph. To most people this would mean very little. However, to me this means one thing: I no longer have a need for a gas pedal of any sort.

This makes me extremely happy. Unfortunately, my happiness is not without hunger. That is why I must end this entry. Perhaps another day will leave me the opportunity to go into the details of my cruise control ideology.

Probably not…