Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

Monday. Winter Break = over.

After a never-ending break, I am back in the second largest inbred city in the foothills of the Appalachians (naturally, the first being Parkersburg, WV). Quite frankly, I am rather happy about my return. There are only so many Kung Fu movies one can watch in a given timeframe. I am sure that I tested the limits of this timeframe during Winter Break, too.

This past weekend was not too extremely exciting. I TRIED to watch the meteor shower that was supposed to happen. Unfortunately, Mother Nature conspired against me and made it rain. Mother Nature is a dirty whore sometimes…

This is the part where a tornado rips through my dorm.

On Sunday, I came back to OU. Nothing exciting happened initially. At about 5:30, I went out to eat. Went back to my room, started unpacking, realized I needed to wrap Christmas presents still, wrapped presents, and at approximately 8:04 PM EST I went to Wal-Mart.

After my descent into Wally World madness, I came back to the dorm inhabited by 4 excellent people who are secretly trying to kill me. One of them admits this openly and is my archenemy. I think we may have been warriors in a previous life and our battle is being carried on throughout the ages — or she just hates me.

I got a pillow from her though, so all is well.

On a related topic, I definitely needed the pillow after my walk home. Sadly, I fell down half a flight of stairs and landed in the mud at the bottom of a hill. I am still in an enormous amount of pain. I think I bruised my ischial tuberosity…

Enter the pillow.

Now I can sit down without being brought close to tears. The original purpose of this cushion was for the bleachers at the hockey game — I hope I’m allowed to use it for this as well. I mean, I hope there aren’t any set rules about when and where you can use certain pillows.

If there aren’t, there certainly should be. I am tired of this extreme disregard for cushion control in this country. Actually, I think that is the platform of the Reform Party for the next election…