Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

Friday.

It’s raining today. Normally, in Athens that is not a cause for news; however, today’s rain is, as I like to say, “mad crazy.” Water is literally POURING from the sky.

For those of you who do not know, I used to have a black umbrella that I loved dearly. I say “used to” because it, along with my old man hat (long story…), has been retired. The main cause behind my decision to retire that umbrella was the fact that it had taken quite a beating at fencing practice. This all happened last year, and I was without an umbrella throughout the summer. (Although, I didn’t really need one because it didn’t rain too much).

When fall quarter started, I realized I didn’t have an umbrella, so I went to Wal-Mart and bought a cheap $3.12 one. BIG MISTAKE. For those of you who are contemplating purchasing an umbrella any time soon, I DO NOT recommend the Wal-Mart brand.

My previous umbrella looked just like the one in the picture at the top right-hand corner of this page. It had the curved handle and everything. After dealing with the residuals of Hurricane Frances (I think that was the name, at least) my Wal-Mart brand umbrella was destroyed. In fact, I was left having to walk home from class one day with nothing but my trusty hat to hide my face from the rain.

Obviously, I had a need for a new umbrella; I didn’t want one exactly like my old umbrella though — I wanted something different. So, one fine day with not a cloud in sight, I strolled into the Men’s Shop uptown; after much deliberation, I purchased my umbrella for a measley price. It actually looks EXACTLY like my old umbrella with two minor details: 1) the handle is wood, not plastic, and 2) it’s a different brand. Also, there is another minor difference, the water-resistant material used in this umbrella is more effective than what was used in my umbrella.

Now you know the story of my umbrella. Tomorrow: why I don’t have a girlfriend (just a hint — it builds on the umbrella story).