Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

I just got out of Russian class and let me tell you, that was certainly a waste of my ever-so valuable time. We had a brief vocabulary quiz, filled out evaluations and were finished. I think this is the first time the class has ever gotten out of Russian early. It was certainly quite wonderful albeit a little bit of a waste. I would’ve much rather not had class at all. If that happened, I would probably still be asleep.

I certainly enjoy my sleep.

Yesterday, I updated all the songs in my music library. Plus, I added a few new ones that were mostly Christmas-oriented. After all, I have to get ready for the holidays. What would good ole X-Mas be without “My Favorite Things,” “Lo How a Rose E’Er Blooming” or, my personal favorite, “Sleigh Ride”? It wouldn’t be X-Mas at all, but instead something horrible and frightening that scared small children.

In other words, it would be Shaun M. Lewis.

Tonight, I’ve got some fun things to do. 1) I must read a book, 2) I must write a book review on said book, and 3) I must research a bit for my paper in Film History. The paper is about Stanley Kubrick–I wanted something easy for a change. After a mediocre paper on Soviet Montage, I decided never to challenge myself again. Actually, the paper would’ve been pretty good had I not forgotten to include the Bibliography. (Insert obligatory “D’oh!”).

5 minutes just elapsed as I stared at the screen…

To the reader, there was little (if any) pause in time going from the last paragraph to this one; to me, there was plenty. I’m not really sure why, either. My hands just stopped moving and I sat there, staring blankly at the screen. Also, for some unknown reason I was thinking about Jurassic Park–in particular, the velociraptors. God, how I love velociraptors.

In case anyone cares, when I was little, I was totally into the whole dinosaur thing; Jurassic Park was the peak in my mountain of obsession. The movie came out when I was in either 3rd or 4th grade–I don’t remember which. I DO remember going and seeing it though. It was the realization of everything I had ever imagined. Oh–and I couldn’t sleep for about a month without waking up in a cold sweat after a bad dream about raptors. Now that I think about it, I saw it twice within a week’s period.

I think we should pay homage to one of the most enduring legacies of that movie too: Supersizing at McDonald’s. Some of us take for granted that before Jurassic Park came out, there was no “Supersize.” All the value meals came in one size. With the introduction of this wonderful idea, the fast-food world was transformed practically overnight. Unfortunately, a by-product of this was learning whether the restaurant you were at Biggie-sized, Supersized, or Up-sized. Luckily most of them had an easy price to remember; it was 39 ¢.

Note: The current day “Large size” at McDonald’s is actually what the Supersize was. Don’t forget McDonald’s added the extra size bigger than everything else that they so recently took away.

So, to sum this all up, whenever you look down at your shoes and see your monsterous stomach, which looks like it swallowed an entire human, thank Jurassic Park. The irony of the situation was that the marketing plan was supposed to tie the amount of food one got with a movie about dinosaurs living in present-day. Now, there are people as BIG as dinosaurs living in present-day.

How sad and yet, how funny.