Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

It’s Friday.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I made it through the week. Somehow I forged against the mounting odds and managed to complete all the projects and studying that was required of me. Not only that, but I did so with relative ease and very few mental breakdowns. I also just got off work at the Archives and Special Collections in the wonderful Alden Library, so I am now totally finished. I have an entire weekend to bask in the joys of doing nothing.

Now for the usual recap of my week…

Wednesday afternoon was pretty boring, but the night was exceptionally interesting. After fencing, I attended a gathering for the Russian students in RUS 211; it was planned by only the students, and this is evident in the title for the event: the Russian Vodka “Party.”

I use term “party” lightly because first the situation needs to analyzed to see if it qualifies as the accepted college definition of “party.” There are a few basic things every college party has. These are 1) the random person throwing up in the bathroom, 2) a very confined space like a dorm room, 3) drama between girlfriends and boyfriends, 4) loud people yelling closely into your ear, and 5) alcohol–in fact, usually lots and lots of alcohol.

On the Vomit Front:
With regard to the first requirement, this candidate for Official College Party status blows all the competition out of the water. Not only was there a random person throwing up in the bathroom, but there even the bathroom guard–played by Nikolai–keeping away unwanted intruders. Vomit Sentinels are typically only seen in entries on the “Best Parties Ever” list. That’s 1 point for RUS 211.

Space Constraints:
Naturally, because this party was held in the Convocation Center, the space was not only confined, but almost dungeon-like in its appearance. That’s a second point for this candidate.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend Drama:
There was plenty of romantic drama in the room the night of the Vodka escapade. The drama was not violent in its nature, but, in fact, rather subdued and not too exciting. I will be somewhat generous and give 1/2 a point to Nika for confusion between “ex-boyfriend” and “boyfriend”. Oh, and another 1/4 of a point to Nika for her use of the phrase “Booty Call”–use of this phrase is obligatory for true college parties. So, that’s 3/4 of a point out of 1 possible.

Loud Yelling Into Ears:
Once again, Nika comes through and delivers an entire point for her team. Her constant yelling into my ear of my own name, “Gosha! Yeah! Da!”, is more than enough to receive one point. The fact that her yelling was totally irrelevant to anything going on in the room at the current time solidified her contribution. Chock up another 1 point for the Rus.

Alcohol?:
Only vodka. Sweet, precious vodka.

And the final score is… 1 + 1 + .75 + 1 + 1 = 4.75 out of a possible 5.00.

So, that was my Wedneday night. Thursday was pretty much just me working on my hideously long paper. The subject was 3 films of Stanley Kubrick (I chose Dr. Strangelove, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and A Clockwork Orange) in relation to the Hollywood Renaissance of the 1960s and ’70s. Despite the way it sounds, I had a fun time writing the paper. The requirement was 5-6 pages; I wrote 11. Unfortunately, I didn’t get into bed until 4:00 in the morning. Right at the end of the time I spent writing, there was a trip to Wal-Mart for printer paper and much, much, much cursing on my behalf.

Note: This is Shaun Lewis style cursing. It pretty much consisted of me saying, “Blast!” and “Curses you bloody paper! You’ve foiled my attempts at sleep yet again!”

All-in-all, I think I did a good job given the time constraints I had.

My plans for this weekend are pretty simple. Do nothing. I will update periodically, so we can see how effective I am in this policy. Until then–