Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

I was just thinking about some of the most embarassing things I’ve done in my life. While it is not the most embarassing thing I’ve done, the one that stands out the most in my mind is somewhat interesting. One day, back when I was in high school, I woke up and I was tired. I don’t just mean “tired,” either–I was tired. I fell out of my bed when my alarm clock went off and staggered across the hall into the bathroom. As I entered the bathroom, I turned on the lights only to find they were too bright to sustain in the state I was. So, I turned off the lights and began to take a shower in the dark.

The possibilities for a foul-up in this stage of my morning routine were huge–astronomical! However, this is not that kind of story. It’s not one of those “I-came-to-school-with-pink-hair-after-I-used-some-hair-dye-as-shampoo” stories. This story is different.

I finished taking my shower and put on some underwear to make myself decent. Throughout this whole time, my back had been killing me; it was probably the result of the inferior mattress on which I slept, but no one can truly be certain. Whatever the reason was, I decided to lie down on the floor to stretch out my back. I laid down a towel both to avoid getting dirty and because the floor was extremely cold. While I lay on the ground, my dad came to the bathroom door and asked me if he should start my car so it would be warm when I went to school (it was a very cold January morning, after all). I agreed he should and went to the task.

Two hours later, I woke up to the sound of my dad pounding on the bathroom door. Apparently, I had fallen asleep while lying on the floor. The towel I had to cover the bare floor was now being used as a make-shift blanket that I had grabbed during my sleep. Also, I was wearing only my underwear.

Really, the worst part of the story was trying to explain to my dad why I was asleep on the bathroom floor. He had gone back to bed (he was off work that day) after he started my car, and had only just woken up. So, there I stood 2 hours late for school with a towel wrapped around myself arguing with my father that I wasn’t taking drugs or “doing anything I wasn’t supposed to be doing.” It was truly an interesting moment in my life.

So, if you went to school with me my junior year of high school and you wondered why I was late one cold January morning, there is the reason. Like I said though, that was not the most embarassing moment in my life. The most embarassing moment, I think, should not be revealed here. My reputation (”You have a reputation?” said Jason) will certainly be destroyed.

Anyway, I think this story makes me somewhat special. I think I’m the only one who has ever fallen asleep in his underwear on the bathroom floor without being tanked. I bet some famous guy like Howard Hughes never did THAT before! Hmm… maybe Howard Hughes was a bad example because he might have actually done that already.