Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

Well, it’s Thursday.

Today was a pretty decent day. I woke up and actually went to class—something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now. Luckily, I went to Russian where there was a quiz waiting for me. Actually, this was less a quiz and more a copy of the SAT in Swahili; or, perhaps, Russian. I have never had such a hard time with a test. It wasn’t so much that it was HARD, either—just long. Ungoldy long. I finished it though. I had a white beard down to the my knees, but I still finished it.

Speaking of white beards, I haven’t shaved for the last two days. Normally, this is not news because I have always hated shaving. Girls can complain all they want about shaving their legs, but imagine scraping your face with a worn-out chunk of metal that rips your hairs out from the roots. You can whine about shaving when THAT is what you have to look forward to everytime you put that razor to your skin. Anyway, back to my story. The interesting thing about my lack of hygiene is that I noticed, as I was walking by a mirror, that I am slowly beginning to look like a bear.

Really—I’m serious.

I’ve got hair on my legs, hair on my arms, hair on my feet and hair on my hands. That doesn’t, of course, include any hair on the unmentionables that I have just inadvertantly mentioned. Oh—and the hair on my face now. I guess I’m normally this hairy without shaving, but I never noticed.

Perhaps I only noticed my similarity to woodland creatures because my arms and legs are not hidden underneath layers of clothing, as they have been for the last few months. The great thaw, which melts the snow at springtime, has had the other side effect of making me realize how wooly I am.

I may be hairy, yes, but I guess I do still have a long way to go before I’m a bear. I still have normal human ears and no claws. Although, I do crave honey and berries. I hope this is not a symptom of my transformation from man into animal. It probably isn’t.

Perhaps I shouldn’t be worried just yet—at least I don’t look like Robin Williams.