Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

It’s Tuesday.

Jacki is out somewhere being a hippie right now and Jason is at work. That means I’m pretty bored because these are the only two people with whom I do stuff.

So, I’ve got a big plate of left-over spaghetti in front of me, a Coke and a lot of free time tonight. I’m pretty excited about the spaghetti because I’m EXTREMELY hungry. As for the free time, I’m not quite sure what I really want to do with it. Naturally, I was thinking of building a parade float of some sort, but there haven’t really been any parades worth participating in lately. Also, building materials are scarce. I think that effectively crosses off that idea.

A few minutes just passed as I sat pondering…

The plate of spaghetti is now half-eaten; same goes for the Coke. Well, almost the same that is. I didn’t eat any of my Coke, but instead I drank it. That’s not important though. I’m not exactly sure what is important, but I know that whether or not I drank or ate my Coke isn’t.

More minutes just passed yet again…

OK—spaghetti and Coke are gone. Apparently I just learned a valuable little lesson: I can’t eat and type at the same time. Also, I learned that eating a big plate of spaghetti and drinking a Coke isn’t necessarily a good thing because I am so full I feel like I’m going to throw up. I wonder if this is ironic or coincidental? I’m pretty sure it’s irony because the food I originally intended to make me feel better has rendered me close to paralyzed in my chair. In fact, I’m struggling to breathe under the weight of my own stomach right now.

Hmm… another little lesson about myself I just learned. Apparently if I have a large plate of food in front of me I can’t concentrate, but when my body weight is substantial enough to suffocate me, I have no problem at all. Interesting.

Enough about food though. It’s time for a little story followed by a neat little download.

The story begins about 2 years ago. Really, I’m not sure if that time period is right, but it sounds close enough. I was at Jason’s house and he said he had a really neat little video clip to show me. Jason seems to be a magnet for some of the most bizarre things I have ever seen on the Internet. For that matter, Jason seems to be good at attracting some of the bizarre things I have ever seen in real life; on this particular occasion Jason did not fail to deliver.

I should probably now give the location of the file. It is here.

Really, the best part of the video is whenever Bubb Rubb and Lil’ Sis are on the camera. Also, if you can correctly guess the number of traffic rules Bubb Rubb violates on camera, you win a prize. I’ll even give you a free starter: he runs a stop sign. (Hint: There are many more than that).

I found that clip just as funny this time as it was the first time I saw it. I really should take the time to thank Jason for that. I think Bubb Rubb and Lil’ Sis should be offered a movie deal. If that movie is ever made I want to see it; of course, I probably want to see the outtakes more than the movie itself. How about it, Hollywood?

But Jason, I salute thee.

While I’m on the topic of funny little video clips I’ve seen over the years, there are 2 other videos I’ve been holding onto since 2003 or so. The first one can be found here. I forget the name of the anchorman on the TV at the time (perhaps it’s Matt Shepard? Is that it?), but I think the video is quite amusing because I love it whenever newspeople mess up their words.

The other video I wanted to share is here. Some of you may have seen it before; it’s a Nokia phone commercial with the cat. I’m pretty sure it’s not real, but I try to convince myself it is whenever I see it. Mostly I just think the cat’s noises are the funniest noises I’ve ever heard.

Well, that’s not entirely true. The funniest noises I’ve ever heard are the noises coming from Jeff Daniels during the toilet scene in Dumb and Dumber. The sound person responsible for those effects should have won an Oscar®. I’d say it’s a shame he didn’t, in fact. Still, the cat noises are close to that level of excellence even if they don’t necessarily surpass it.

I believe that sometime in the near future I will put up all the little movie clips I’ve made over the last few years. Perhaps not. I don’t know. I lost all the really old ones, which is a crying shame. They were quite excellent. Perhaps I should try to find them. The best clip of them all was the “Dancing Hamburgers” scene I made for my friend Jesse’s Spanish video in high school. I hope I can find it.

You know, I made a lot of movies for Jesse back in the day. I also made a video for Bill Bicknell too, if I recall. It featured the hit song, “Like a Puritan.” I can’t claim credit for that beauty of a song though: it was all Bill. I wish I had the kind of equipment and knowledge I have today back then. Those videos would have been 80,000x better. At least, I hope they would’ve been 80,000x better. Oh well.

Look for that collection sometime in the near future.

After a really long time spent writing, I think I’m going to sign off. This entry is almost so long it’s unreadable. Hopefully that won’t discourage anyone from reading it though.

Until next the one…