Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

It’s Tuesday?

I just woke up. Yes, I realize it’s a bit late, but I went to bed a early — this morning, that is. At 8 o’ clock, in fact; it’s 3:30 now. So, if you’re any good at math, you’ll notice I didn’t even get 8 hours worth of sleep, the international standard amount of sleep. In case you were wondering, I was at Wal-Mart all night installing AXPs (wireless routers) 30 feet above the ground. Actually, point of order, James was installing the routers; I was busy pulling all the cable to them.

If you work at Wal-Mart, thank the person who installed your AXPs the next time you use your handheld.

On Sunday, I went to the Renaissance Festival(e). It was a lot of fun! I use an exclamation point there because it truly was fun. I’m hinting at my excitement level. Punctuation helps me in this endeavor. After the fair, I had dinner at Young’s Dairy Farm and it was fantastic. I’m getting ahead of myself though…

The Faire

I arrived at the fair an hour later than planned just because I could. I’m a rebel like that. Or, my mom took my car without asking. One of those two. I’m going to stick to the former one, but if you know me, you also know it’s probably the latter, right? Right. Anyway, I got there late and everyone started to give me a hard time, but I pushed them aside with ease because I was always early (read “on time”) to everything in school (except classes, thank you) while they were consistently LATE. I’ve earned myself a bit of leeway when it comes to tardiness with my Athens crowd.

I guess I should take a moment here and list everyone at the faire. The first person I saw was Beth, who ushered me inside the gates. We sat down to watch a show and I saw Maria next because she was closest to me in the row, next came Andi, Heather (maybe Andi was first?), Angie and Angie’s beau, Tim. I think that’s it. Angie, Tim, Andi, Heather, Maria, Beth. Yes. That’s right. Eventually Jason came; Maria’s sister, Christ, and her friend showed up later.

Note: That should be read as Maria’s sister, who is named Christ, and her friend showed up later. “Christ” is Maria’s sister’s nickname. Her real name is Christy and her nickname is Christ, get it? Yeah. I know. It’s probably sacriligous, indeed, but it’s fun to say “Christ is with us.” It gives our group a little more authority, you know?

I had never met Tim, so it was nice to finally do that. He seemed like a decent enough guy. He likes [as] (that’s “Adult Swim” for all you non-[as]-ers) so that’s a big bonus in terms of points for him automatically.

Back to the story though.

Jason and I had this problem of just sort-of wandering off whenever anything caught our fancy. Eventually though, we managed to attach ourselves to the group. While we were gone, we played some games of skill. I am certified as “Master of the [Ninja] Stars” and “Master of the [Gladiator sword].” Oh! Maria and I beat each other to death with padded sticks! That was fun. Unfortunately, there really is no way to tell who won in our battle. I didn’t get hit in the balls this time though, so that was a small victory on my part, I guess.

After all this exciting Renaissance fun, we decided to leave. It was six in the evening and we were all exhausted and hungry. Jason decided to leave and not come to dinner; all of us decided to just leave Beth and go to dinner without her. Actually, she couldn’t come because she had to be in Akron later in the evening. That’s where she lives (a suburb of it). So we left her there. Don’t worry; she had a ride.

On the way to Young’s Dairy Farm, I saw a homeless man digging for trash. He had on a sweat-stained T-shirt, nappy hair, a beard and a green apron. Everyone else insists it was just a man, but I know homeless people when I see them. This man was homeless.

Dinner was quite good. Angie, Tim, Andi, Heather, Maria, Christ, and Christ’s friend (I know her name, but I just don’t know how to spell it because there are so many different ways — it has to be Brittany or some variant of that root) all were there, in addition to Betsy and her fiancée, Matt. We all ate some food, I embarrassed myself in public — the usual, you know?

After dinner, we all parted and went our separate ways. My separate way happened to be directly to a gas station because my low fuel light had been on before we reached Xenia. I made it home OK in case anybody was wondering. I doubt anyone was, but maybe someone cares, right?

Uh, yeah. That was my Renaissance Faire story though. It was an extremely large amount of fun and I’m happy I went. I’m also happy that I rock like a hurricane at the ninja star and Gladiator sword throw.

I find that to be quite awesome.