Shaun Lewis: the Man, the Myth, the Legend

So, this story is in this journal and my xanga. I liked it so much that I put it in both because some of you read the journal and some of you read the xanga. I guess I didn’t want anyone to miss out on it.

I was watching NBC while I was at the barbershop and the evening news was on. It must have been one of the SLOWEST newsdays ever because the special piece was about how sometimes kids swallow things. There were x-rays. One kid swallowed a matching set of silverware. I found that amazing. The best part dealt with a little boy named Jack though.

Jack was about 8 years old and probably should’ve been in foster care because his parents were the dumbest people I’ve ever seen in my life — even for local news. That’s a saying a lot. There have been some pretty dumb people on local news. Jack happened to be on camera telling the story about how he put a quarter on his tongue and then ate it. The show was delicate about what happened in the end (pun) and ended Jack’s segment by saying “everything passed OK.”

Then, there was a doctor on the screen talking about how dangerous it was for kids to swallow things. Jack came back on following the doctor for an ending shot and said, “I learned that I shouldn’t put things in my mouth because I could get hurt or die a little.” The newslady ended the piece by saying, “Oh, Jack — you’re wrong. You could die a lot.”

How truly horrifying.

UPDATE

Uh, yeah. I’m embarrassed. The title for this post does not involve Jacki in anyway; it involves Jack, the little boy in the story. I do not want Jacki to die. Quite the opposite, in fact. I want her to live a BILLION years! I guess I don’t care if the little boy lives or dies though.

UPDATE #2

It’s called a “sense of humor,” people. Of course, I care if the little boy lives or dies. I want him to live. And YES — I know! Living a billion years would probably be WORSE than dying. Really, what it comes down to is that I want to die after having written that title. Stop emailing me!

Yeah. I’m going to go ahead and give everyone a link for another video they can download. I’m really not usually handing out links like this all the time, but I certainly couldn’t pass up on this opportunity. I don’t know anyone who has seen it yet (other than Kate—who showed me), but if you’re familiar with WOUB in Athens, you might get a kick out of this. Even if you’re not, you’ll still probably both laugh and feel quite terrible for laughing.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/awfulweatherman.html